Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I need moral support for this bender
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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