Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
