so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my sisters under your porch take her home
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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