You smell like a Billy Joel song
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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