Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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