you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
