We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
