I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
