My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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