kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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