I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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