Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
