One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
