That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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