can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
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My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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