I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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