I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
