So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
my poor anus
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
