You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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