That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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