I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
