This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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