i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
