porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
