My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
