I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
