shes about as inviting as chlamydia
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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