My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
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It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Still dying that you shit outside
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I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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