was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
