I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
