I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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