I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
