let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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