I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
