I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Text me some of your sweat
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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