Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
