i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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