worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
