i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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