i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
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I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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