i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
