they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
