i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
