she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just had sex on a roof
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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