But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
