bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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