if you like me you must not know who I am
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Boobs speak an international language.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
