We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
