I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.