Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
