Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  he quoted Bring It On. It's over.

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  (213): he quoted Bring It On. It's over. http://tfl.nu/r2ms
  Replies (10) Good night (940) Bad night (2648)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth

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  (603): it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth http://tfl.nu/hcb6
  Replies (19) Good night (3932) Bad night (1194)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober

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  (443): i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober http://tfl.nu/mim6
  Replies (21) Good night (1773) Bad night (4279)
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  (949): View more from California

  I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.

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  (949): I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation. http://tfl.nu/8430
  Replies (23) Good night (6018) Bad night (812)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.

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  (678): I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present. http://tfl.nu/aj43
  Replies (16) Good night (5751) Bad night (1289)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.

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  (215): I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day. http://tfl.nu/v175
  Replies (10) Good night (4228) Bad night (858)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started

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  (847): then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started http://tfl.nu/q84m
  Replies (15) Good night (4449) Bad night (1219)
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  (559): View more from California

  I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.

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  (559): I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives. http://tfl.nu/x41u
  Replies (6) Good night (1902) Bad night (736)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish there were birth control emojis

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  (918): I wish there were birth control emojis http://tfl.nu/p00p
  Replies (16) Good night (622) Bad night (927)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.

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  (407): That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan. http://tfl.nu/f7sf
  Replies (13) Good night (2345) Bad night (783)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.

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  (716): Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly. http://tfl.nu/tse2
  Replies (1) Good night (747) Bad night (523)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna

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  (814): I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna http://tfl.nu/s83h
  Replies (11) Good night (1264) Bad night (514)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.

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  (503): Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY. http://tfl.nu/gw0u
  Replies (3) Good night (678) Bad night (332)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?

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  (732): I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/2e8m
  Replies (1) Good night (485) Bad night (290)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.

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  (320): I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me. http://tfl.nu/74dw
  Replies (2) Good night (770) Bad night (319)

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