We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize