I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
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No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
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my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.