I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
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I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
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The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!