Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
im six kinds of drunk right now
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
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He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
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hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.