I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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