Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
