He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
