girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
